I couldn’t sleep. I stared ahead into the darkness of the hospital room, lit dimly by the machines monitoring my vital signs. Earlier the IV in my arm had infiltrated, and the doctors stuck me three times to start a new one. I’d had blood drawn three times too. My pain medication was too weak to soothe me. “God,” I spoke aloud, “I’m tired. I can’t do this hospital stuff anymore.” After 46 hospitalizations in 19 years, I was ready to give up.
I have a rare illness called acute intermittent porphyria, a sister disease of multiple sclerosis and lupus. It causes pain and muscle weakness, and I’m confined to a wheelchair. But I’d been doing so much better lately with my health. This latest setback just crushed me. In my conversations with God, he urged me to go on, but every day I became more discouraged.
If I can’t sleep, I’ll watch some TV, I thought. I fumbled for the remote and turned the TV on. Channel 30, the info on the screen displayed. A program was already in progress.
Read More: Channel 30 – Guideposts
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